First Submission

Well, in holding to my New Year's resolution to finally get moving on freelance writing, I have submitted my first piece.

Yeah. Pat on the back.

At this point, I'm just glad I wrote something and submitted it, even if it never gets published.

Baby steps, baby steps.

The Art of Procrastination

Why does it take me more than six weeks, numerous extensions, and promises to have it done "by next week", to finally get around to writing an article that took all of three hours?

My procrastination skills continue to amaze me!

Day 30: I Won, Now For the Real Work

With a half hour to spare, I came in at 50,268.

So, another win for NaNo--3 for 3.

Even if I had stuck with the original problem premise, I'd still be nowhere near done story-wise. I'm somewhere in the muddly middle.

Not too sure what will become of all those words I wrote before I had my run in with the wall. Some may be salvageable; possibly even whole scenes with a little tweaking. But for the most part, I'm just accepting that I'm starting from scratch. Already have the first couple scenes sketched out for draft #2. For now going to take take a day off and recover. Will get back to the beast on Sunday at the last write-out.

And before I say goodnight, I'd just like to congratulate myself on actually sticking with blogging this little adventure all month. God, I can't believe it's been a month. Even if I didn't keep up with my daily word count as promised, I at least kept this up. Definitely a sign of screwed up priorities, but whatever, I'm done and it's over.

I promise to check back in occasionally and with hopefully more entertaining ramblings.

Night.

Day 29: 25-Hours To Go

Still have 6,912 words to go. And just under 25-hours to do them in.

Should be fine. I've had 7,000+ word days this month. I'm surprisingly calm...probably not a good sign...probably just a sign of denial.

Luckily, I have most of tomorrow free. So, the plan is to hole up in a coffee shop somewhere till I finish. Not staying home to write. I know I'll get nothing done here!

On a (professionally) productive note: went to a panel discussion on freelancing. I know I need to get going on freelancing. Definitely was a good kick in the butt. I have an idea for a piece that I want to try and submit before Christmas. Will start working on it after this weekend. Will definitely need to relax after tomorrow.

And on a happy note: rumors of a Radiohead tour next year. Really want to see them live.

Off to write...or probably bed so I can get up early to write tomorrow.

Day 28

I think I've got it. I think I've got the opening I've been trying to write. It just feels right. It feels different than all the others I've struggled with. I think I know where I'm going and how I need to structure this. Fingers crossed.

11:49 PM: 1,361 for the day. Only 6,912 to go by Friday.

Day 27

It's just been a long day. I've played therapist to a few too many people today. Ended up needing to take an hour drive just to clear my head and get away from everyone. Could have gone longer, but had to come home sometime.

One positive, I think the drive helped me get some clarity on how I need to restart with Chapter 1. I have some new opening lines and I think I like the direction they would take me. I think I've made it all more complicated than it needs to be. I need to go back to the original story I had before I started taking other people's opinions and ideas into consideration. Some suggestions were helpful; but I think the ones that got into the core of the plot and who the characters are got me into trouble.

I'm just emotionally drained. Add to it that I got up earlier that usual to deal with the smog check and car registration, and I'm kind of sort of dead.

So, alas, no words today. So, I have three days to hit 50K. Have a little more than 8,000 to go. I know I can do it, and I will. Just haven't been into it since the write-in.

Not stressing; just trying to let everything go today.

Day 26

Nothing today. Have to take my car in for a smog check tomorrow, so figure while I'm waiting, I can take my laptop with me and get some writing in. At least that's the plan.

Day 25

3048 words today. Went to another write-in this morning. Productive again. Am slightly ahead for the day.

Decided to just pick up where I left off while incorporating the changes. Not sure if anything that comes between now and the end of NaNo will be of any use; but I don't want to lose. Once I hit 50K I'll go back and start rewriting what I got out of NaNo and move forward again from there. Probably going to have to push back my end of year deadline for my first draft; but at least I have some momentum now and a better idea of where I want this to go.

Didn't hit 45K as planned today. Could still get there tonight if I focused, but really not feeling it right this minute. Maybe later. But thinking of reading instead.

Day 24

Still pondering and wandering.

Some ideas. Some notes. No words. Not worrying.

Finished reading "Among Other Things, I've Taken Up Smoking." Not bad, but serious holes.

Dinner at The Palm and Clippers game. They lost. I think they also lost the last time I went. Oh well. Good distraction.

Day 23: Splat!

Crap! Crap! Crap!

Just hit a wall. Okay, not so much a wall as a giant fork in the road and I just realized I took the wrong fork. Fuck!

I've been working from the assumption that my main character's boyfriend for lack of a better word....Okay, wait, for the sake of explaining this, these people need names.

So, I've been working from the assumption that Lisa (my main character) is involved in an affair with Bart. Lisa knows Bart is married. Now, Lisa has had a strained relationship with her father, Homer, since her mother committed suicide several years earlier--strained to the extent that she knows very little about his life since her mother's death. Lisa doesn't know why her mother, Marge, committed suicide--she had a hard enough time dealing with her mother's death that knowing why wasn't something she wanted to know. But her father does know why--Marge found out about Homer's affair with Selma, and Marge did leave a note. One reason Homer put distance between himself and Lisa was because he kept his relationship with Selma going after Marge died. He's trying to "protect" Lisa from the truth.

Now this gets complicated (not that it isn't already) when Homer dies unexpectedly and Lisa is confronted with what she didn't know about her father and what she doesn't know about Bart. See, Bart is Selma's son, and neither Bart nor Lisa have made the connection until Homer dies. (No, they are in NO WAY related, so get your head out of the gutter!)

I'd been working from the assumption that Bart had never met Homer, but now I've realized it might be better if he had. I was also working from the assumption that Lisa's mother hadn't left a note explaining exactly why she killed herself, but now I think Lisa finding that note after her father dies opens up so many more doors.

Some of this goes back to the original ideas/premises I had been working with before I started this draft with NaNo. And I think what works best is to bring them back in, which essentially means that the last 38,000 words I've done need to be heavily tweaked/rewritten if I continue from this point on to the end with these changes to the story.

Seriously, didn't see this coming. I thought I'd coast into 50K and finish out December writing the rest. But now, I think I'm just going to have to move forward with the changes to win NaNo and then December 1 go back and start tweaking the beginning chapters so I can then move forward to finish the novel.

I'm still not entirely sure if these changes are right. I still need to think them through: what exactly will change in the beginning and where does this take me? What I really want is to put Lisa in a position where she has to rely on Bart and Selma to get answers about her father; and at the same time, I need Bart and Lisa to work through what is really going on with their relationship because before Lisa finds out that her mother killed herself because her father was cheating on her, Lisa had never had a problem being the other woman. Now, she feels guilty knowing what it did to her mother, but at the same time she has to deal with her feelings for Bart.

Like my homage to The Simpsons? I'm not giving up all the details in this blog. Feels wrong to reveal their real identities yet.

Okay, off to ponder. Got to figure this out before I get behind. So far have done 668 words for the day. Want to hit 2,000 by midnight. We'll see.

****

UPDATE (5:45 PM): I'm FUCKED!!!! Spent the last hour trying to figure this out and I'm stuck in a corner that I can't figure a way out of. Taking the rest of the night off to think this through. I'm still ahead for the day, but that's little consolation at this point. THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucky, fucky, fucky!!!!

Day 22: Freefall

Plunging into the unknown.

647 words in. Currently at 38,011. Still ahead for the day.

Thanksgiving was...well, thankfully, is over. Seriously, I'm getting out of town next year.

Day 21: A Day Ahead

Yep, that's right. I'm actually (technically over) a day ahead. Should be at 36,674, but am currently at 37,364. Got 5,213 words today. It helped to have the day off.

Story wise, feeling a little muddled. The last couple scenes need a lot of work. There are a lot of holes. On rewrite, I'm going to have to backtrack and fix some things. But not doing it now. Just going forward. Not looking back till I get this draft done.

One big issue, and again, this is one that I've been dealing with for months now, is whether or not my main character's "boyfriend" is married or not. In other words, is my main character his mistress. While working on some scenes during a writing class this summer, the character I had developed wasn't married. But then towards the end of the class, and after work-shopping a couple different stories based on the same premise, I was asked whether or not he was married. There was some confusion with another, totally unrelated, story that I had written earlier in the class in which that male main character was married. So, it was suggested that it might be more interesting if this character was married. For the last couple months while I was planning for NaNo, I played around with the idea and charted out the possibilities and complications that him being married brought to the story, and I liked the idea. So, when it came time to start NaNo and to start from scratch and finally bring all these bits and pieces of the story together, and to put these characters in action, I opted to have him married.

But now I'm wondering if it really works. I don't know. Is there enough to the story without my main character also being involved in an affair with a married man? The answer is yes. The bigger question is whether or not it adds to it in a good way or distracts. That's what I haven't figured out. The last couple of scenes would work better if he wasn't married; but at the same time, I think I could still go back during the rewrite and fill in the holes and tie up some loose ends in the earlier chapters that could still make these middle chapters work with him being married.

I don't know. I think the other problem is that I'm getting a little nervous. The scene I just finished for today is essentially as far as I ever got in planning this story out. From this point forward, it's a freefall. I have a vague idea of what needs to happen in the next chapter, but then after that, not so sure.

So, I'm probably just over thinking this because I'm getting nervous about where to go from here. I know I just need to ignore myself and get on with it. So, note to self: Shut the fuck up and just write the damn thing!

Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. Luckily, the family has opted to go out for dinner. Makes things so much better--less mess and I can get out of there sooner. Love the family, but just prefer not to have to spend too much time with certain people. It's days like tomorrow that make me miss living on the East Coast and having an excuse for why I couldn't make it to dinner with my family. Thanksgiving with friends is just so much more fun--even if it does involved Chinese take out.

The goal for NaNo is to be at 45K by Sunday. Totally doable. Thinking that I could actually hit 50K by Sunday. If so, it would be the first time ever that I haven't been scrambling to hit 50K on the last day. So, we'll see. I guess I also need to stop thinking in terms of hitting 50K and more in terms of hitting the end of the story, which is still a long way off.

Oh well. Going to bed in my warm, comfy new pajamas. Want to try and get some writing in tomorrow morning before I have to be anywhere. Night.

Day 20

Headache.

Day 19: Caught Up

I am not only caught up, I am 478 words ahead. Managed 3,908 words today. Part of me feels like I should stay up a few more minutes and get those last 92 words in to have an even 4,000 for the day. But then again, sleep sounds nice.

Got a pretty good writing session in at the Coffee Table in Eagle Rock. I love their chicken salad sandwich. Only complaint about the location: it was freezing. It's time to turn off the AC. It's two days till Thanksgiving. I know this is southern California and everything, but let's at least pretend it's winter. Gotta say, around this time of year, I actually do miss East Coast winters. Then when I remember slipping on ice and freezing my ass off, I get over it and remember why I love being back in LA. Still, there is no such thing as winter here. It's just a cold version of summer. Now, if it would rain occasionally, I might believe fall is an actual season again.

As for my novel, things are plugging along. Might have a small problem. I'm having some point of view issues. The original plan had been to have it 3rd person from the perspective of my female main character. Then along the way, a second character emerged as a point of view character. And now to make it more complicated, a third character has decided to have a point of view in all this as well. I'm having trouble writing this without dipping into all their heads to round it out. But at the same time, I'm not delving into each of their heads equally so it's not balanced enough to justify all three. I can see splitting the different POVs with chapter breaks. I don't think there would be a problem there. I'm more worried about balance.

I know it's a little early to be worried about this. This is only a draft. But this is a problem I kind of envisioned before I started, and now I find myself wading knee deep in it. I'm not going to do anything about it at this point. I'm just going to let whatever POV that wants to come out come out. I'll deal with it in the rewrite. There is also the lingering issue of whether or not I actually should be writing this in 1st person POV instead. I've opted for 3rd because I see its merits and the shortcomings of 1st. But still I'm wondering. I'm considering doing a complete rewrite, or at least the first half, in the 1st person POV just to make sure that it isn't right for this story. We'll see.

For now, the virtue of being in too many characters' heads is that it gives me more story. At 30,000+ words, I feel like I'm only about a third of the way into this story; if that. I know I'm looking at at least 100K for a first draft. Yes, there will be lots of crap that will have to go; but I still need that crap so I can find the good crap.

Okay, getting ahead of myself. I'm thinking I need the new Great Northern album. I've been listening to clips and have one of their songs; all of which I've liked so far. Last year, every day that I stayed on track with NaNo I rewarded myself with an iTunes download. Haven't had a similar reward system this year. But maybe buying the album will be justified as my little reward for finally catching up.

Day 18: 28K

8,141 words today. Currently at 28,243. Only 1,763 away from catching up. So close. Crap! Do I stay up and hit 30K tonight as planned, or do I call it a night? Pressure pressure. What to do? I'm right in the middle of a scene. My main character is standing at the back of the Griffith Park Observatory looking down on LA. No, she's not about to jump. She's just having a moment in her favorite (okay, my favorite--had to work it in somewhere) place in LA. Could probably knock out those words keeping me from being caught up in this scene, but seriously, I'm tired. And actually injured. Yep, I have my first NaNo injury--a sore wrist. I can't really lift anything heavy with it. Not good. Had to wrap it to get through the last 3,000 words. Probably a result of my poor posture while typing. What can I say, this chair is comfy and I can curl up in it with the laptop. I'll tough it out for the next 12 days. I'm not changing my routine now.

Got a good 2500+ words at this morning's write-out at Vroman's. Those are proving rather productive. Wish they happened more often. Might look into other write-outs during the week this week. Haven't really seen any on the forums. Everything seems to be for the weekends. Oh well. Guess I'm left to my own devices. (Never a good thing!)

Did take a much needed break this evening and watched the American Music Awards. Seriously, it was painful. I'm sorry, I just don't get the appeal of Fergie, Beyonce, Avril Levigne, and most of the other performers. I will fess up to owning Avril's first album and liking it at the time; and I'll concede that Beyonce has a decent voice when she's not singing drivel. But Fergie!?!?! You've got to be kidding me. As much as I HATE singers who don't/can't sing live, she should have lip-synced. Maybe smoother vocals would have distracted me from the actual lyrics of her songs (Did I seriously hear her sing "Fergilicous"?). I know I'm out of touch with most "popular" music these days. I don't really listen to radio or watch MTV, or even VH1. When I do, it's the same song over and over; it gets a little repetitive after a while. (I swear one morning last week I flipped from VH1 to MTV and they were both playing Daughtry's new video. Aren't these channels owned by the same company? You'd think they could better coordinate their playlists.) Besides, none of the artists I like are ever played. So, why bother. I guess this begs the question of how I ever find out about new music. Not really sure now that I think about it. Might need to start paying attention to that. But anyways, I had a point...actually, I guess I didn't. I just wanted to rant about how horrid the show was. And I'm sorry, but do we really need to leave it up to the public to vote on the winners. Isn't that what the People's Choice Awards are for? I'm all for the elitist, snobbery of a select few professionals deciding which artist gets recognition. At least then there's a (small) chance of someone other than High School Musical or Justin Timberlake winning an award.

I suppose all the words spent on this little rant/digression would have been more productive had they been applied to my novel, but I think I've earned a little reprieve. I'll catch up tomorrow. Looking forward to a relatively light week work wise given the upcoming holiday. Should be able to stay caught up, if not get ahead, this week. Off to bed.

Oh, one more rant. Got suckered into going to a Celine Dion concert. Let me say up front, while I like Josh Groban, it does not mean I'm a fan of the whole easy listening milieu. I can't stand Barry Manilow, Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion, or any other artist who Josh Groban gets lumped in with. I'm a former choir kid--all the way through college. Seriously, I lettered in choir in high school--geeky, I know. So I guess his voice and songs appeal to that part of me. Anyways, back to the Celine concert. There's a back story here. So, last fall when I wanted to get tickets to see Josh at Staples this past March, I asked my friend Christina to go with me. She's a Celine fan, and was familiar with and liked Josh's music. Actually, she's the easy listening fan. If you based our friendship on music taste, there is no reason we should be hanging out. But we seem to share similar guilty pleasures (She came with me to my first New Kids on the Block concert back in 1989--God, I suddenly feel old!). So, anyways, fast forward to this summer. Our families were going to Vegas together and she got us tickets to see Celine. I was all set to go, until my mother who was coming on the trip expressed an interest in seeing Celine. I happily handed my ticket over to her and skipped out on the concert to gamble. Christina was less than happy with me. So, my penance was dealt out to me this morning with an early wake up call (7:45 AM on a Sunday) informing me that she was buying tickets for Celine's show at Staples for next December. Yep, that's right, NEXT December; as in 2008--more than a year away! Who the hell sells tickets that far in advance?!?! God, I don't even know what I'm doing this Friday, but I now know what I'm doing on December 2, 2008 at 8PM. And if I'm NOT there, I fear I may be disowned.

I'm thinking of buying a ticket to see Tori Amos at the Nokia in a few weeks just to console myself. Might need to get on that before her show totally sells out.

Day 17: Another 50 Questions (Part 2)

I swear, I'll redeem myself tomorrow at the write-out. But for now, I'm in a meme-mood.

1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be? a publisher

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? sometimes

3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you? yes, but I really shouldn't.

4. Do you take compliments well? not really

5. Do you play Sudoku? done it a few times. Don't get the appeal.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive? hmmm...probably, because I'm resourceful; but then again maybe not, I really hate camping and appreciate proper bathrooms.

7. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would save? people, dogs, then family pictures and my teddy bear that I've had since I was one.

8. Who was the last person you slept in the bed with? we're so not going there. See #3.

9. Who do you text the most? my friend Christina, all my other friends think they're too old to text.

10. Favorite children's book? I loved the Little House on the Prairie series.

11. Eye color? brown

12. How tall are you? 5'7"

13. If you could do it over again, start from scratch, would you? How about just a few do-overs instead?

14. Any secret admirers? If so, they're not telling me.

15. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response.

16. Favorite ex..? Favorite for what reason? In general, Jon because I can honestly say that was a healthy relationship, even if there were issues.

17. Where was the furthest place you traveled? Turkey

18. Do you like mustard? yes

19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? sleep

21. Can you do splits? not since I was ten.

22. What movie do you want to see right now? August Rush

23. What did you do for New Year's Eve? stayed home. I hate New Years parties.

24. Do you think The Grudge was crappy? never saw it.

25. Do you own a camera phone? yes

26. Was your mom a stripper? uh, no.

27. What is the last letter of your middle name? H

28. Are you hispanic? a quarter

29. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? usually, 7-8; 10 if I'm lucky.

30. Do you like care bears? never really got into Care Bears. Was more a Cabbage Patch Kid kid.

31. What do you buy at the movies? nothing usually, and I really wish others wouldn't as well. They make too much noise.

32. Do you know how to play DDR? Huh?

33. Do you wear your seatbelt? yes

34. What do you wear to sleep? a t-shirt

35. Is your hair straight or curly? straight

36. Is your tongue pierced? no

37. Do you like Liver and Onions? I think I just threw up a little. Does that answer the question?

38. Do you like funny or serious people better? funny

39. Ever been to L.A.? a few times

40. Who is on your mind right now? unfortunately, the answer to #'s 3 and 8. Damn you!

41. Any plans for tonight? It's 11:15. Sleep.

42. Whats your fav. song at the moment? "Pace is the Trick" by Interpol

43. Do you like chocolate? silly question.

44. What do you and your parents fight about the most? my career choices

45. Are you a gullible person? no

46. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? no

47. If you could have any job what would it be? successful novelist or tour manager.

48. Are you easy to get along with? yes, as long as you don't annoy me or piss me off.

49. What is your favorite time of day? first light

50. Are you generally a happy person? I try to be.

Day 17: 50 Questions (Part 1)

So, instead of writing today, THIS is what I have been doing...

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:15--horribly early for a Saturday.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds--prefer small and tasteful.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Dan in Real Life (yes, I should have been writing instead!)

4. What is your favorite TV show? House

5. What did you have for breakfast? Pancakes at IHOP

6. What is your middle name? Elizabeth for my great-grandmother

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Greek and French

8. What foods do you dislike? olives, pickles, most nuts, tomatoes (on sandwiches or in salads, but I will eat them in pasta), ham

9. What is your favorite chip flavor? plain, preferably baked

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Blonde Redhead "23"

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Volvo

12. Favorite sandwich? tuna

13. What characteristics do you despise? arrogance, rudeness, self-entitlement, dependence

14. Favorite item of clothing? pajamas

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Tahiti or Morocco

16. What color is your bathroom? blue & white

17. What color pants are you wearing? navy and white stripped pajama bottoms

18. Where would you retire to? Ask me in another 30 years. I haven't quite figured out where I want to be living in the next five.

19. Favorite time of the day? first light

20. What was your most memorable birthday? 12th

21. Where were you born? Los Angeles

22. What’s the last thing you ate? chocolate cake--so bad, but so good

23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? blue

24. Favorite flower? white roses and lavender tulips

25. What fabric detergent do you use? Tide liquid

26. Coke or Pepsi? Coke

27. Do you wish on stars? occasionally

28. What is your shoe size? 9.5

29. Do you have any pets? 2 dogs

30. Last person you talked to on the phone? my brother

31. What did you want to be when you were little? According to my autobiography from 5th grade, a professional swimmer. I also dabbled with a singing career.

32. What are you meant to be doing now? writing

33. What do you first notice about someone? eyes, hands, hair

34. Siblings? brother

35. What was your favorite toy as a child? Sadly, probably Barbie. I had the house, the car, and the pool. Sad, I know.

36. Summer or winter? summer

37. Hugs or Kisses? I can't choose.

38. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate! I've never understood the appeal of vanilla.

39. Who is most likely to respond? To this...my followers.

40. Who is least likely to respond? Those who don't hang on my every blogging word.

41. Living arrangements? House

42. When was the last time you cried? Got a little teary eyed last night.

43. What is under your bed? that scary clown from "Poltergeist", a fan, my CDs, some shoes, and definitely some rapidly reproducing dust bunnies.

44. How many countries have you visited? 18

45. In how many cities have you lived? Six, if we only count the ones I've spent more than a year in--Los Angeles, Tucson, Albuquerque, Boston, DC, Bologna (Italy)

46. Favorite movie of all time? Of all time? No idea.

47. Mountains or beach? Beach

48. The current friend you have known the longest? Christina (since we were 6)

49. Full names of your potential kids? Kids? Umm, I find my dogs too much of a commitment.

50. Usual bedtime? midnight, thus why I'm always falling asleep when I should be writing.

Day 16: 20,000 Finally!

Finally broke 20K! Yeah. A little jumping up and down with excitement. So far, 2,524 words today, and it's only 4:30. There's still hope for a little more this evening. Thirty thousand by Sunday night is conceivable. I have to hit 30,006 by Sunday night to be caught up, and I desperately want to be caught up. At least for a little while.

Day 15

Holding steady at 17,578. Will catch up this weekend as planned.

Saw "Dan in Real Life" this evening (instead of writing). I know I mentioned I was seeing it weeks ago; got sidetracked that night. I often get sidetracked. Lack of focus. Anyways, back to what I was talking about. The movie was pretty good. Cute story. Light. Wanted light. Needed light.

Now I need sleep. A constant theme. Till tomorrow.

Day 14

2,526 words today. Currently at 17,578. 5,760 words behind. Plan is to finally catch up, and maybe, get ahead this weekend.

I like where I am story wise. I like how this is unfolding. There were so many holes before I started--point B between points A & C. Now they're starting to fill in. Scenes, moments, I hadn't planned out, or thought about before I started to write this draft, are popping up, coming alive. And I think I'm getting a better handle on some of the idiosyncrasies of my characters. Things are starting to make more sense. I'm getting out of the way as much as the possible. When I do, it just flows. This is the way it should go.

So, the character whose death sets the next three-fourths of the story in motion has died; and the main character and the 2nd female main character (for lack of a better term) have now met. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be offering many specific details. I need to work this out in my draft for now. I don't really want to discuss the story idea until I know what I have; and I'll know what I have much further down the road.

So, be patient with me. Maybe one day you'll get to read it!

Off to bed. Night.