My Quest for the Cooked In-N-Out Fry

As anyone who has ever eaten at In-N-Out knows, it has the worst fries. Great burgers, horrid fries. Their flaw: the damn things are never actually cooked.

So, after years of picking at my fry order--covering it in salt & ketchup to make up for the raw potato taste, I decided to get a little demanding in my order and asked for them "well done." Now, they obliged with no questions asked. I know others have made the same request as well for years. So, nothing new or outlandish. But alas, In-N-Out took it to a new extreme...too crispy and well, overcooked.

So, tonight I decided to try again. Asked my friend who was making the In-N-Out run to ask for the fries to be "cooked." This was the best descriptor I could come up for the middle ground I've been searching for...cooked, but not raw nor overcooked. I guess I could have said "medium," after all they're familiar with burger cooking terminology, but at the time I didn't think it was the appropriate word choice.

So, off my friend went, and returned with, well...the same old uncooked, raw, pathetic potato worms. I think the In-N-Outers weren't thrilled with the implication in my request that the fries be "cooked."

I want to know...can In-N-Out make a good fry? Is there some secret codeword that I haven't been told that will get me what I want? It's not like I'm some newbie who doesn't know what "animal style" means. I've grown up with In-N-Out. Hell, In-N-Out was my one cheat while being a "vegetarian" for several years (I had my limits!). After 32 years of loyalty, I think I'm entitled to a good fry.